We Need to Talk About: The 'Mannequin Challenge'
Well, here we are again.
Another "challenge" is taking the Internet by storm and there's nothing you can do about it. By now you could be asking yourself a range of questions about the Mannequin Challenge, such as:
- Um, why?
- Why does this exist?
- Am I having a stroke?
- I wish I was having a stroke(?)
- Why does this exist?
- Who is this for?
Remember tableaus from drama class?
Of course you don't, because they were boring and stupid, and by the time you were 11 you thought: Well this literally serves no purpose, when do we get to dive into that chest of colorful prop hats?
But this is a tableau of another kind. This one is meant to represent the derivative narcissism that permeates modern life, offering up inclusive trends as a fun alternative to the crushing loneliness that can accompany individuality.
If you're reading this you've already lived through the "Harlem Shake", the "Ice Bucket Challenge," and the "Running Man," and to a lesser extent had to endure The Whip (in conjunction with the Nae Nae), the dab, and planking.
While these trends aren't all the same (one earned money for ALS), the cycle that churns them into a fine internet powder is.
First you hear about it and say: "Huh. Another one of these?"
You might even see the original and chuckle, or think to yourself, 'well isn't that neat'.
Within a day the phenomenon becomes ubiquitous, with athletes and celebrities jumping in while the getting is good, and by 6 p.m., a local news man is using his sonorous voice to say things like: "Freeze. The Mannequin Challenge is taking the world by storm, and it's got everyone ... striking ... a pose."
By now your mom has mentioned the craze to you via a barely intelligible text message - which you don't respond to because you've already seen every possible iteration - and posted a Facebook video of her and the gals at work doing a poor interpretation of the fad and guess what? Linda can't even hold the camera phone steady!
And that's where things generally begin to wind down. People begin to turn on the challenge, quietly at first, and then in bigger numbers. By the time the uninitiated begin to create their version of the "thing" the youth has already moved on to another "thing."
Which brings us to where we're at with the Mannequin Challenge.
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and a group of his rich friends and relatives have offered an early bid to suck what life was left in the quickly expiring corpse of the Mannequin Challenge.
@dallascowboys 7-1 victory feeling.. #mannequinchallenge #DallasCowboys pic.twitter.com/Yzou0hhVgj
— Charlotte J Anderson (@CJonesAnderson) November 6, 2016
Wow, it's a rich old coot and his cronies on his million dollar jet (billion? how much does a jet cost these days?) appropriating the latest monotonous fad.
How relatable.
And guess what? THE SONG ISN'T EVEN PLAYING and Charlotte can't even hold the camera phone steady!
So enjoy the death rattle of the Mannequin Challenge, it will soon be replaced by the next viral marketing campaign masquerading as a "challenge," funneling more and more of those sweet, sweet, Internet bucks - that keep the tenuous digital economy afloat - towards our corporate overlords.