The Weekend Review: Messi stands alone, United commit grand larceny against Arsenal

Every Monday, we'll take a stroll through Europe to review the best - and worst - the top leagues on the continent had to offer over the weekend. As always, there is plenty to discuss after a full slate of action.

The Storylines

Lionel Messi has no equals

Move over, Telmo Zarra.

Barcelona's indefatigable record-smasher Lionel Messi added another honor to his bloated mantle on Saturday. He's surpassed the Athletic Bilbao legend atop the all-time La Liga scoring chart, netting three goals against Sevilla and taking his total to 253 - two beyond Zarra.

Powered by the Argentine star, the Blaugrana captured a 5-1 victory - by far their most convincing result of the season. It was an important reminder that, despite claims of decline for both the club and player, Barcelona and Messi are just fine.

At just 27 years of age, Messi will now be looking to create a separation between himself and anyone who even dreams of surpassing his newly-crafted record. You're witnessing history in the making, with arguably the greatest footballer of all-time redefining what's possible on the pitch. 

Enjoy.

Manchester United escapes north London with unlikely win

Some good bounces, some horrendous finishing and a lot of heroic goalkeeping saw Manchester United escape the Emirates with a 2-1 victory over Arsenal in the Premier League's marquee match of the weekend.

After David de Gea kept the Gunners at bay in the opening half with some wonderful saves, United took the lead through Kieran Gibbs own goal in the 56th minute. Wojciech Szczesny was injured during the sequence, a mere four minutes after Jack Wilshere was taken off with an ankle injury of his own.

The five minute spell really was the perfect microcosm of Arsenal's season, in a horrible kind of way.

The Red Devils put the match beyond reach when Wayne Rooney scored in the 85th minute. It was United's first shot on target in the contest.

It was one of those days for Arsene Wenger, which have become all too familiar this year. Even the most ardent supporters of the Frenchman are beginning to question if a change is needed.

The win pushed United, somehow, into the top four. Meanwhile, despite what has been perceived as a horrendous beginning to the campaign, Arsenal sits just two points back.

This season in England defies logic.

Milan derby ends in stalemate

Jeremy Menez did his best, but you can't put lipstick on a pig and expect it to go unnoticed. 

Despite the Milan forward's wonderful volley in Sunday's 1-1 draw against Inter, the latest installment of the historic derby showed that two bitter rivals, who play in what was once the footballing capital of the planet, are a shadow of their former, glorious selves.

The players on offer are simply not good enough for this match to warrant the attention it once garnered. Gone are Paolo Maldini and Javier Zanetti, Marco van Basten and Lothar Matthaus, Roberto Baggio and Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

In their stead, Zdravko Kuzmanovic and Sulley Muntari patrol the pitch.

Philippe Mexes captained the Rossoneri on Sunday - an indication of just how dire the situation at the San Siro is.

At the very least, the supporters remain as wonderful as ever.

The Highlights

The lower leagues are fun too, says Yann Kermorgant

This was the best goal of the weekend, and it wasn't all that close. AFC Bournemouth are sitting second in the Championship at the moment. With goals like that, we can only hope they win promotion to the big show.

Mile Jedinak sinks Liverpool with brilliant free kick

Great beard, even better free kick. The Crystal Palace captain drove home the dagger in Sunday's 3-1 victory over Liverpool, heaping more misery on a Reds side that is, incredibly, just four points above the relegation zone.

Carlo Ancelotti > Cristiano Ronaldo

He may not get the same height on his leap as the Portuguese superstar, but Ancelotti's facial expression while mimicking the now-famous celebration more than makes up for that.

Ajax's Ricardo Kishna shows you how to crush someone's soul

The latest teenage prodigy to come through the ranks at Ajax, 19-year-old Ricardo Krishna may be responsible for Heerenveen defender Stefano Marzo retiring from the game at only 23.

(Courtesy: Reddit)

Raphael Guerreiro finishes off brilliant passage of play by FC Lorient

Individual goals are great, but when a handful of players get involved in a successful attacking move, like Lorient did this weekend against Lens - it's infinitely more fun. The flick, the dummy, the shot. Gorgeous.

The Lowlight

Marco Reus injured once again

As great as this sport can be (see directly above), sometimes it downright sucks. We got a stern reminder of that fact on Saturday, when Borussia Dortmund star Marco Reus once again saw his ankle explode on the pitch.

The German attacker, who missed the World Cup this summer through injury, suffered torn ligaments in his right ankle after he was on the receiving end of an atrocious tackle from Paderborn's Marvin Bakalorz.

The club later confirmed that he will be out of action until January with the ailment - his sixth ankle problem in the last year.

The Shocker

Valencia gets a surprise both on and off the pitch

It's not exactly a crisis, but Los Che had what can only be described as an entirely forgettable week. 

The Spanish side fell 2-1 to city rivals Levante on Sunday - a third consecutive away loss to their derby counterparts - and found out earlier in the week that the very fiber of their being, the club logo, is under threat. The plaintiff? DC Comics. The complaint? Valencia's badge is too similar to Batman's logo.

Dermot Corrigan explains in his La Liga recap for ESPN FC:

There has been a bat on Valencia's club crest since formation in 1919, and use of the nocturnal flying mammal as a symbol dates back to the coat of arms of Jaime I de Aragon, who conquered the city in the 13th century. Batman only suited up to fight crime in 1939.

While that issue should ultimately amount to nothing, losing to a Levante side that came into their contest with just two wins on the season - with Barcelona next on the fixture list - is concerning.

The Controversy

Jose Mourinho and Sergio Ramos spar over club vs. country debate

Diego Costa and Cesc Fabregas, less than a week removed from sitting out of the Spain squad due to injury, started for Chelsea in Saturday's 2-0 win over West Brom. The striker scored his 11th goal of the season.

The problem? Real Madrid defender and fellow Spaniard Sergio Ramos thinks the duo, though he did not name them directly, are not showing enough commitment to the national team. After all, if they can play for their club sides so shortly after being deemed unfit for La Furia Roja, some eyebrows should be raised, right?

What does Jose Mourinho think about that?

"So, for me, there is no story since I know Sergio Ramos is a fantastic football player, but he is not a doctor ... I don't think Sergio did a medicine masters in the last couple of years to understand about it."

Fun.

The 1,000 Words

"Who is this little kid and why is he bothering me?"

(Courtesy: @Gunner_Updates)

Stray Thoughts

• Bastian Schweinsteiger made his long-awaited return from a knee injury in Bayern Munich's 4-0 win over Hoffenheim on Saturday, playing his first minutes since the World Cup final. He made an immediate impact, setting up Sebastian Rode with a lovely through ball. It's nice to have you back, Bastian.
• Cristiano Ronaldo scored two more goals in Real Madrid's 4-0 win over Eibar on Saturday. He's now sitting at 20 in league play on the campaign, and is scoring 1.8 goals per 90 minutes. Let that sink in.
• Juventus and Roma continue to go blow-for-blow at the top of Serie A, with the former crushing Lazio 3-0 on Saturday shortly after they finished watching the latter come from behind to secure a 2-1 win against Atalanta.
• David Moyes, finally having accepted the Real Sociedad job after plenty of deliberation, made his debut this weekend and led his side to a grim, goalless draw against Deportivo.
• Newcastle, on the back of five consecutive victories, has rocketed up the Premier League table into fifth place. This EPL season, man.