Casting the inevitable John Scott movie: Schreiber, Goldblum, Chiklis and more
John Scott is already being flooded with movie offers after his All-Star ordeal and fairy tale ending over the weekend, so it's time to start thinking about how an adaptation of the story would play out on the silver screen.
Related: John Scott approached about possible movie, fan-made trailer emerges
Here's who we'd cast as the eight most important characters in a hypothetical John Scott movie:
Liev Schreiber as John Scott
Schreiber would be hard to convince, having already played antagonizing enforcer Ross Rhea in the cult hit "Goon," but he's simply perfect for the role.
The veteran actor has connections to the hockey world, having been the narrator of HBO's "24/7" documentary series, and he has the experience required to tackle Scott's range of emotions and sense of humor.
He's not the biggest name as far as actors go, but Schreiber has gone big budget before - as Sabretooth in the "X-Men" franchise - and hey, Kevin Costner played baseball players in three different movies.
No one else could capture both Scott's appearance and personality quite like Schreiber, but if he politely declines, we'll give "The Mountain" from "Game of Thrones" a call.
Ryan Hurst as Brent Burns
Hurst is often typecast in - shall we say - greasier roles, and he's best known for playing Opie Winston on "Sons of Anarchy".
He's a natural to portray the San Jose Sharks defenseman, who's both Scott's All-Star buddy, and the NHL's resident wookie.
Count von Count as Gary Bettman
In the most challenging role of his career, the beloved Muppet plays the NHL commissioner, with whom he actually has plenty in common.
They look as alike as a puppet and a human can, plus the Count's math skills would come in handy, particularly in scenes that show Bettman begrudgingly poring over the All-Star votes and discussing the trade's salary cap implications.
Michael Chiklis as Bill Daly
Chiklis has played "The Commish" before, so it's only fitting that he takes on the role of the NHL's deputy commissioner, in a part he was truly born to play.
The actor has plenty of experience playing conflicted characters who enforce the law, and he'd do well as Daly, who carries out the will of the league as Bettman's right-hand man.
Christoph Waltz as Colin Campbell
Waltz has experience playing villains in movies like "Inglorious Basterds" and "Spectre." While he's not quite a dead ringer for the NHL's president of hockey operations, he could pass for Campbell, and he's got the acting chops to nail the role.
Willem Dafoe as Don Maloney
Dafoe has great range, so who better than the veteran actor to capture Maloney's internal angst about trading Scott, and the Arizona Coyotes general manager's passion while insisting the deal had nothing to do with the All-Star Game.
If the star of "Platoon," "The Last Temptation of Christ," and the "Spider-Man" movies can turn back the clock and grow his hair a bit, he's a shoo-in for the Maloney role.
Jeff Goldblum as Marc Bergevin
The star of "The Fly," "Jurassic Park," and "Independence Day" looks exactly like the Montreal Canadiens general manager with glasses on, and that's good enough for us.
Goldblum would have no problem capturing the ethical dilemma faced by Bergevin as he (perhaps) reluctantly accepts the trade, and sends Scott to Newfoundland.
Topher Grace as Greg Wyshynski
We can't have a John Scott movie without the man who - along with his podcast partner Jeff Marek, the Reddit community, and Sportsnet video star Steve Dangle - kick-started the online movement to get Scott voted in.
Grace hasn't done much since playing Eric Forman on "That '70s Show," but this one's a no-brainer given their resemblance.
Duly noted.