Bonjour. Tennis, quelqu'un?
The 113th French Open began Sunday, which means it's time for me to look into my crystal ball (I bought it on eBay) and predict - with stunning accuracy - the future.
Here are five predictions about the 2014 French Open.
Rafael Nadal's winning
Nadal doesn't lose at the French Open. You know that. You know he's the four-time defending champion, and you know he's won the tournament a co-record eight times, and can move ahead of France's Max Decugis with his ninth title. You know his next Grand Slam title will be his 14th, tying him with Pete Sampras for second all time, and moving him one closer to Roger Federer's record 17.
Here's the deal: talk of Nadal being vulnerable at Roland Garros is simply that - talk. So he lost a few matches on clay before the French, to David Ferrer, Nicolas Almagro, and Novak Djokovic. So Djokovic's 2-0 against him in finals on clay since 2013. So he's got a difficult draw. I'm not worried.
Nadal will be 28 next week, on June 3. He's no longer a boy. He's old enough to realize he's not going to win every tournament, even if it's on clay; old enough to realize he must now pick his spots. Like, you know, at majors.
Nadal has a 59-1 career record at the French Open - how do you bet against that? While he will relinquish his grip on this tournament one day, making the men's game more interesting in the process, that day will not come over the next two weeks. It's his tournament to lose, and he won't.
Serenaissance
It took Serena Williams 11 years to win her second French Open title in 2013, after she won it in 2002. Think about that for a second.
Williams, at 32, is at the top of her game, and the top of her sport. There's Williams in the women's game, and everyone else.
Have a look at this year's WTA rankings. I'll wait. I insist! Williams, No. 1, has 11,590 points in 17 tournaments. Li Na's ranked second, with 7,540 points, followed by Agnieszka Radwanska (who's played in 22 tournaments), ranked third, with 6,360 points. It isn't even close.
Williams is 24-3 this season, and is 54-2 on clay since the start of 2012. Who's going to beat her, Maria Sharapova, who she hasn't lost to in 10 years? Sorry, Maria, but it ain't happening. Serena's not having it.
Williams will repeat, and continue her remarkable Serenaissance.
It will rain
The first week of the tournament will be plagued by rain. That means, over the next seven days, we're going to lament the fact that the roof scheduled for the main stadium at Roland Garros won't be ready until 2018.
I checked: it's 2014, which means the 2018 French Open is five years and five tournaments away. It's unacceptable. Allons-y!
Nishikori is the next 5th-best player in the world
Tennis still belongs to Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer, and Stanislas Wawrinka, and will for some time still, but I have seen the future, and it is Japan's Kei Nishikori.
Nishikori, 24, ranked 10th in the world, will over the next two years stake claim to the No. 5 ranking in the world. He will be the best of the rest. And his rise will continue in Paris.
Nishikori's playing the best tennis of his life. If it weren't for a troublesome hip, he would have beaten Rafael Nadal in the Madrid Masters final. He's 27-5 this year, and is the first Japanese player to crack the top-10 world rankings. While he said his hip isn't 100 percent, you doubt him at your peril.
Also working in Nishikori's favor is the fact he's got Michael Chang in his corner. Chang, Nishikori's coach, shocked the world in 1989, when he won the French Open. Nishikori will be hard pressed to turn that trick, but he's got a favorable draw - he'll miss the big four until the quarterfinals, where he could face No. 2 Novak Djokovic - and has proven capable of winning big matches, and winning titles. He's won as many titles - five - as Milos Raonic, and two to Raonic's zero in 2014, and two more than Grigor Dimitrov, and is my bet to take the leap we keep waiting the young guns to take.
So, yeah: Nishikori will face Djokovic in the quarterfinals.
Get hip to Halep
Romania's Simona Halep, ranked fourth in the world coming into Roland Garros, is only 22, and is poised to take over as one of the top women in the sport. She's going to turn heads at this year's French Open, and reach at least the quarterfinals.
Williams and Li Na are 32. Agnieszka Radwanska is 25. Halep's got next, and her ascendance will continue in Paris, where she's got a relatively easy draw. A date with Ana Ivanovic, seeded 11th at the tournament, awaits in the quarterfinals, should everything go to plan.
While Halep's never made it past the second round at the French, this is her fifth time around, and that's valuable experience under her belt as she hits her prime. It's time.