Death. Taxes. Germany winning penalty shootouts.
Die Mannschaft emerged victorious in another battle of nerves Saturday, outlasting Italy from the spot, 6-5, to reach the semi-finals of Euro 2016. It was the manner in which they got there, though, that was peculiar.
Related: Germany outlasts Italy in penalties, breaks hoodoo to reach Euro 2016 semis
Going into the shootout, Germany had converted 26 of 28 attempts in major international tournaments. The purveyors of popular cliches, the German stars proceeded to miss three in this marathon encounter alone.
And still it wasn't enough for Italy to claim victory.
That's largely down to a trio of utterly terrible Italian efforts, as Matteo Darmian, Graziano Pelle, and Simone Zaza put forth awful attempts to beat colossal goalkeeper Manuel Neuer.
But whose spurned chance was the worst? There were seven to choose from in total. Here are the five worst penalties from what will go down as a shootout that was equal parts enthralling and embarrassing.
5. Thomas Muller
The German attacker's barren tournament continued with this disappointing effort that your average Sunday league 'keeper, never mind Gianluigi Buffon, would have palmed away with ease.
4. Matteo Darmian
Weak. Sauce. This miss opened the door for Jonas Hector to send his side to the semi-finals.
3. Bastian Schweinsteiger
Burn all the cliches about experience and veteran leadership. With a chance to win the match, the German skipper killed them.
2. Graziano Pelle
Your two-year-old niece or nephew could put more power into a penalty than this pitiful dribbler.
1. Simone Zaza
There are no words. Just watch this travesty unfold.