Get your guys: How to make fantasy baseball fun again

A new decade means new fantasy baseball strategies.

If you're tired of the endless grind that is fantasy baseball, here's a guide to reigniting the flame that once burned so bright. It can be summed up with three words: Get your guys.

So close those tabs with the 2020 projections, expert analysis, and Statcast data, and take this wild ride with me.

The must-have

We all have at least one player who's played a special role for us in fantasy baseball. They may be a once-relative unknown who you picked up prior to their breakout, a star on your favorite team, or someone who has produced for your squads year after year.

Whatever the criteria, make sure you get that guy. For me, it's Tommy Pham. I let him get away last year and he was a member of the winning squad in my league. Don't make the same mistake.

The fun guys

Fernando Tatis Jr. could very well be a bust at his borderline absurdly high ADP. But as long as he continues to acrobatically slide and score on fly balls that barely clear the infield, I don't care. Whether he plays 160 games and goes 40-40 or injures himself and hits just .240 when healthy, I guarantee he'll be among the league's most entertaining players.

The guys with cool nicknames

I love a good nickname. Boomstick (Nelson Cruz), the Franimal (Franmil Reyes), the Wild Horse (Yasiel Puig), and El Mago (Javier Baez) are just some of my favorites. Just find a nickname you want to write in all caps in the group chat and grab that guy.

The guys who throw really, really hard

This category might seem random at first, but stop and think about which of the following pitching trios will be more fun to watch this season: Tyler Glasnow and his unfair fastball-curveball combination, Noah Syndergaard throwing a 98-mph sinker, and Dinelson Lamet and his repeated double-digit strikeout performances, or Kyle Hendricks, Hyun-Jin Ryu, and Mike Soroka getting some ground balls.

The social media legends

You're missing out if you're not following Yu Darvish on Twitter. His almost-two-years-in-the-making Justin Verlander clapback was the stuff legends are made of. Similarly, Sean Doolittle provided users with a fun and enlightening experience last season. A special shoutout goes to Brandon McCarthy, who's no longer an active pitcher but is very much a big-league tweeter.

The absolute units

This one stems from a picture of Francisco Lindor prior to the 2018 season. I was debating between shortstops with the 12th overall pick, and it came down to Lindor, Carlos Correa, or Manny Machado. I strongly considered taking Cleveland's superstar simply because of his massive arms in that photo. I chose Correa and suffered accordingly (Lindor was the ninth-best fantasy producer that season, while Correa finished 279th).

Giancarlo Stanton was one of my favorites from this group - specifically for doing jacked-guy stuff like bench pressing Adriana Lima - but it's not really fun to draft already-injured players. Instead, go get Eric Thames, Yandy Diaz, and the increasingly buff Shohei Ohtani (the pitcher, hitter, or both).

The all-swag team

Swag is even more subjective. A few players who fit my definition are Clint Frazier and his beautiful shoe collection, Tim Anderson for his glorious bat flips, and Joc Pederson because you can write "YUNG JOC" and include Yung Joc's "It's Goin' Down" in the group chat whenever he hits a bomb (perhaps by now you're noticing that celebrating in the group chat is indeed good and fun).

The guys who play(ed) for your favorite team

This is the easiest way to build a team full of your guys. There might not be a better feeling when it comes to this usually rage-inducing game than celebrating the success of your fantasy squad and real-life MLB team simultaneously. You can also draft players who once played for your favorite big-league club, like the guy you miss more each day because the team you've cheered for during most of your near-29 years of life decided to trade him, prioritizing saving money over winning.

The guys in your time zone

Save this for the latter stages of the draft when there aren't any players who fit other criteria. If you work early mornings and will never be able to watch late games on the west coast, avoid players on those teams in favor of someone you'll see regularly.

The only time this rule may not apply is when you're drafting pitchers. Sometimes it's better to not see your prized starter get repeatedly blasted to the moon.