Barberena: I had to beat 'this darkness in me' to return from back surgery

A year after he underwent major surgery, Bryan Barberena's journey back to the UFC is almost complete.

The always-exciting welterweight will step into the Octagon against Anthony Ivy at Saturday's UFC Fight Night card in Las Vegas. Barberena hasn't competed since June 2019, as he had a back procedure last September to repair damage in his spine and nerves.

"It's been a long road," Barberena told theScore.

"Bam Bam" injured his back in a first-round win over Jake Ellenberger in August 2018. He doesn't know exactly when or how it happened. All he knows is that a day after flying home, he was in "a ton of pain" that ran from his lower back to the toes of his right foot.

Barberena had some procedures done to ease the pain, and physical therapy helped the most. He's fought twice since then, coming up short in gutsy performances against Vicente Luque and Randy Brown.

But after his most recent fight, the pain in Barberena's back returned, and he couldn't bear it any longer. The 31-year-old struggled to move and function - playing with his kids and working on his farm were out of the question.

"My physical therapist and I had a talk," Barberena said. "And he's like, 'Man, it's gotten to the point where it's so bad, what we're doing isn't going to help you anymore.'"

After undergoing the surgery last September, Barberena set a goal to return to the cage the following August or September. On Saturday night, that goal will become a reality.

"Coming back and starting back in training was definitely a battle, mentally and physically," Barberena said. "But I got through it. I feel better than I ever have before. I have no pain, no issues. I've been able to run my training camps at 100% and just go all-out, so (getting the surgery) has been the best move I've made for sure."

Barberena said he felt relief immediately after his surgery. But he recovered in stages, and it took time. He didn't step foot inside a gym until June.

"I took my time with it," Barberena said. "There were times I tried to do stuff and it kind of slowed me down more, and I ended up getting some pain and had to get worked on."

Barberena described his journey back to the gym as a struggle. He fights at 170 pounds but weighed as much as 240 pounds during his time off.

"I was just so out of shape," Barberena said when asked why he found it so difficult to start training again.

"My mind was playing games with me. My mind was trying to get me to quit, my mind was trying to get me to not even work out. This darkness in me was trying to keep me from seeing the light. Thankfully, I was home, I had my family there with me, supporting me. Seeing my kids and my wife inspired me to push through."

Barberena said it took a while to lose the first few pounds, but once the extra weight started to come off, it happened quickly. Diet and consistency in his workouts were key.

"I just stayed on track - didn't have a chance to cheat or anything like that," he said. "I needed to stay sharp the whole time."

Though Barberena felt "amazing" during his training camp and expects to have a great performance against Ivy, the native of California said he'd be lying if he claimed retirement never crossed his mind in the past year.

"We had dark times, and those were some of the thoughts that went through my head," Barberena said. "'Are we gonna be able to do this? Should we even do it again? Should I find something else to do?'

"I know that's just my head trying to talk me into the darkness, talk me into quitting, talk me into giving up, and that's not what I do. I had to push through. And when I come back, I'll show my kids that I'm not done yet and that you can go through something hard and rough. And if you give it your all and do the right things, you can come back and be successful."