Comparing NBA players to Pokemon
The phenomenon that is Pokemon GO is showing no signs of slowing down, with legions of players taking to the streets on their cellular devices in an attempt to retrieve all 151 catchable pocket monsters and become a master of the game.
We've seen several NBA teams and players get in on the fun as well, with some arenas even hosting Pokemon GO meetups so fans can openly search for the creatures.
Some of the league's more noteworthy players obviously don't physically resemble Pokemon in any way, shape, or form, but there are some characteristics they possess when it comes to their respective brands of basketball which draw comparisons.
(note: Pokemon descriptions courtesy of Pokemon.com/Pokedex)
LeBron James - Machamp
Description: Machamp has the power to hurl anything aside. However, trying to do any work requiring care and dexterity causes its arms to get tangled. This Pokémon tends to leap into action before it thinks.
It's fitting how Machoke eventually evolves into Machamp, because many fans believed James was "choking" in his pursuit of ending the city of Cleveland's 52-year title drought until The King ultimately shook any negative labels surrounding him by leading the Cavaliers to the franchise's first NBA championship.
It also helps that Machamp is one of the more physically imposing Pokemon out there, with four well-muscled arms and a rock-solid physique it uses to impose its will. With the exception of two extra limbs, this is basically James in a nutshell.
Draymond Green - Hitmonlee
Description: Hitmonlee's legs freely contract and stretch. Using these springlike legs, it bowls over foes with devastating kicks. After battle, it rubs down its legs and loosens the muscles to overcome fatigue.
Green brought this connection on himself during the 2016 playoffs by excessively flailing of his legs, one of which connected with the nether-regions of Oklahoma City Thunder center Steven Adams during the Western Conference finals.
It's not like he deserved the benefit of the doubt on that occasion, as the 26-year-old had a storied history of being unable to keep his legs under control. Another Mega Kick from Green and Adams may need a hyper potion.
DeMarcus Cousins - Graveler
Description: Graveler grows by feeding on rocks. Apparently, it prefers to eat rocks that are covered in moss. This Pokémon eats its way through a ton of rocks on a daily basis.
Self-destruct, explosion, double-edge, strength, and heavy slam are all techniques the living boulder can deliver on the battlefield. They're also vivid descriptions of not only Boogie's on-court approach, but also his attitude and demeanor.
Graveler can't evolve into a Golem without first being traded by a trainer. Factoring in his history with the Sacramento Kings and their poor track record, maybe a trade is what needs to be done for Cousins to not just be an elite talent in a poor situation, but one of the greats contending for the Larry O'Brien trophy.
Marc Gasol - Slowbro
Description: Slowbro's tail has a Shellder firmly attached with a bite. As a result, the tail can't be used for fishing anymore. This causes Slowbro to grudgingly swim and catch prey instead.
Of all NBA players who suited up for at least 50 games last season, Gasol stood out as the absolute slowest, averaging a speed of 3.58 miles per hour, including a speed of 3.74 mph on offense.
Since the former Defensive Player of the Year did have to deal with ankle issues, some leniency will be offered with the Slowbro example, as Slowpoke - its first form - can barely move at all.
Justise Winslow - Kakuna
Description: Kakuna remains virtually immobile as it clings to a tree. However, on the inside, it is extremely busy as it prepares for its coming evolution. This is evident from how hot the shell becomes to the touch.
The former Duke University standout has yet to demonstrate much of an offensive repertoire early in his career, focusing more of his attention on being a standout defensive forward capable of shutting down perimeter wings.
Kakuna routinely uses harden, a defensive-based move which strengthens its shell to lower physical damage. It doesn't need much experience to evolve, though, with Miami Heat supporters hoping that's the case with Winslow in what's now a Dwyane Wade-less South Beach.
Anderson Varejao - Magikarp
Description: Magikarp is a pathetic excuse for a Pokémon that is only capable of flopping and splashing. This behavior prompted scientists to undertake research into it.
Let's make one thing clear out of the gate: Varejao is by no means a "pathetic excuse" of a player like Magikarp is in the Pokemon universe. One of the few things the medium-sized fish can do is use Splash, which brings absolutely nothing to the table damage wise.
Magikarp sure loves to flop around, though, which Cavaliers players James and Kevin Love can vouch their former teammate loves to do.
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