Happy birthday, Phil: 5 best one-liners from the Zen Master

Not only does Phil Jackson stand as one of the greatest coaches of all time, but he also serves as maybe the most quotable individual in NBA history.

In honor of the Zen Master's 71st birthday, here are five of Jackson's best (or worst?) one-liners:

On the Sacramento Kings:

Jackson helped spark one of the greatest rivalries of the early 2000s when he was a coach for the Los Angeles Lakers, insulting Kings fans by calling Sacramento a "cow town," and team supporters "semi-civilized" and "maybe redneck in some form of fashion."

On the city of New Orleans:

Jackson was more than happy when the then New Orleans Hornets were forced to play half a season in Oklahoma City following Hurricane Katrina.

"Well, it smells better in Oklahoma," Jackson said. "I have to say I miss that mildew smell from New Orleans that permeates the air."

On Heat players crying:

Jackson had little sympathy for members of the Miami Heat after they were seen crying following a midseason loss to the Chicago Bulls.

"This is the NBA: No Boys Allowed. Big boys don't cry," he said. "But if you're going to do it, do it in the toilet where no one sees you."

On the city of Memphis:

Jackson seemingly had no problem disparaging any city that wasn't his own, throwing Memphis under the bus in 2005.

"It's like Dresden after the war," Jackson said.

On 3-point oriented teams:

While the league continues to trend towards high-volume three-point shooting, Jackson has remained true to his old-school philosophy.

His attempt on mocking three-point heavy teams during the 2015 postseason ended poorly, as the New York Knicks president seemingly forgot to turn on autocorrect.