Imagining a roster of only Klutch Sports clients

You've heard the jokes - that many of the major moves in the Association are the machinations of a man at the center of a not-so-secret society. Some have labelled him a puppet master; others simply revere him as "the King."

Indeed, many fans believe, perhaps half-jokingly, that there is a grand conspiracy orchestrated by LeBron James and his agent, Rich Paul, to wield their considerable bargaining power to control the league using their Rolodex of Klutch Sports athletes.

This is like the Illuminati - but far more nefarious. Instead of controlling international financial markets, the Klutch Sports cabal plots and schemes in order to get the likes of Tristan Thompson a five-year, $82-million contract. It sends a shiver down your spine.

What if James and Co. actually manipulated the league in order to get the Klutch Sports family under one roof? Could you craft a feasible rotation based entirely off James' agency allies?

To answer those questions, let's take a look at a theoretical Klutch Sports team:

(Photo courtesy: Getty Images)

The Starters

The starters fall into place without much debate; when you can build off of a dynamic James-John Wall duo, you're going to overpower a lot of teams on the fastbreak regardless of who the other three starters are. Minutes would be staggered so that one of James and Wall would be on the floor at all times.

James' Cavs teammates, Thompson and J.R. Smith, would stabilize a lineup of players who have largely never played together. Thompson actually ranks as the most capable rebounder and rim protector on the team. Smith provides needed shooting.

Philadelphia 76ers rookie Ben Simmons rounds out the starting five, bringing more point-forward abilities to open up scoring lanes, helping lessen the drawbacks of the roster's suspect perimeter shooting. We already know the bromance between James and Simmons would be stellar.

(Photo courtesy: Getty Images)

The Bench

A quick look at the bench gives you an idea that the Klutch Sports team is going to have two philosophies: small ball and extremely small ball. Klutch Sports, would it kill you to represent more wings and bigs?

Eric Bledsoe, the Suns' scrappy defensive-minded guard is easily the best bench player, and should be familiar with an off-ball role from playing with Isaiah Thomas, Goran Dragic, and Brandon Knight in recent seasons.

Fans might actually be able to see a Bledsoe-James tandem as early as this upcoming season. Bledsoe's name has been central in every package the Suns could offer Cleveland for disgruntled guard Kyrie Irving. What Bledsoe lacks in transcendent scoring touch around the hoop, he makes up for with the tools of All-NBA defensive potential. In any case, he still scored a career-high 21.1 points per game last season.

The first bigs off the bench would likely be Montrezl Harrell and Trey Lyles, neither of whom have rebounded up to the potential afforded by their size. Kosta Koufos has a per-36 rebounding rate of 10.8 for his career, but there's a reason why he's averaged just 16.4 minutes per game in his nine-year NBA career. Without much muscle in the paint, the Klutch Sports team will go even smaller when the starters sit.

Kentavious Caldwell-Pope brings some wing depth. His recent signing of a one-year, $18-million deal with the Lakers has been cited by wannabe tea-leaf-readers as a sign that Los Angeles could target other Klutch clients in the future. In very related news, James can opt out of his existing contract after the 2017-18 season.

Otherwise useful guards Cory Joseph and Dejounte Murray aren't going to see a ton of playing time with Wall and Bledsoe logging major minutes at the guard positions, but they're a solid insurance plan. Ben McLemore, Shabazz Muhammad, and recent Thunder draftee Terrance Ferguson round out the deep bench by default.

(Photo courtesy: Action Images)

The Verdict

This Klutch Sports team may lead the league in jaw-dropping, off-the-backboard jams in transition, but it's ultimately going to stink.

While the team would match up as well as could be expected against smaller guards, they offer very little by way of athletic perimeter defenders that could check a wing or stretch big with strong shooting ability. And they're doomed to lose the rebounding battle, leading to plenty of second-chance scoring opportunities.

It's fun to imagine a team in which James used his might to construct a lineup favorable to his agency, but based on the roster's guard-heavy lean, the Klutch Sports team really isn't built to win in today's NBA.

Oh well. James' Machiavellian interests are probably best served with his covert allies spread around the league anyway.