Happy Birthday, Kobe: 5 moments when 'The Black Mamba' had no chill
It's time to feel really old, because Los Angeles Lakers legend Kobe Bryant - who entered the NBA in 1996 at the young age of 17 - is turning 39 today.
As we all came to learn over his 20-year tenure in the Association, his "Black Mamba" nickname wasn't just a clever marketing tool, but a spot-on description of his personality when it came to basketball. Bryant had venom coursing through his veins and was truly one of the most methodical and relentless players in league history.
While not the only times he acted without a conscience, these five moments when he showed absolutely zero chill stand out as some of his most memorable:
Bryant is incapable of flinching
Matt Barnes' attempt to intimidate Bryant failed miserably.
He didn't budge an inch, blink, or move a muscle.
Adversaries simply couldn't play mind games with Bryant and expect to prevail.
Bryant reminds Mavericks fan of his credentials
How many championships did Bryant win in purple and gold?
Five.
That's a number one Mavericks fan will forever remember.
Bryant: Teammates are 'soft like Charmin'
(Warning: Video contains coarse language)
Bryant demanded a great deal out of those who marched into battle beside him, so if he sensed weakness or laziness, even during practice, he made sure his voice was heard.
For the record, Charmin tissue is extremely soft, with the company acknowledging as such shortly after the video began circulating three years ago.
You know, in terms of toilet paper, saying you're as soft as Charmin is a good thing. In basketball? Not so much. #tweetfromtheseat
— Charmin (@Charmin) December 11, 2014
Los Angeles finished the 2014-15 campaign with a 21-61 record, so it's safe to assume this wasn't the only time Bryant had an outburst of that magnitude.
No love lost between ex-teammates Bryant, Howard
(Warning: Video contains coarse language)
The failed experiment that was Bryant and Dwight Howard as teammates was well documented during their only season together in Los Angeles.
The two got heated when Howard returned in a Houston Rockets uniform, with Bryant chirping at him from the sidelines, calling him some very nasty things.
Anyone can talk a big game, but when they can't back it up, Bryant wouldn't shy away from going right for the jugular.
81 olives
Yes, this zinger was a scripted ESPN promo, so we're bending the rules a bit.
His 81-point shellacking of the Toronto Raptors in 2006 is a night Jalen Rose - who was tasked with guarding Bryant at Staples Center - won't soon forget.
Bryant's stoic demeanor after teasing Rose is vintage Mamba, and just another reason why we all miss watching him do his thing.