Weird Week in 🏀: Not-so-deep fakes, NBA anesthesia confessions

Every Sunday, theScore highlights the week's lighter moments from around the basketball universe. Here's what caught our eye this week.

Fakers gonna fake

These days, anyone with MS Paint and a dream can briefly dupe NBA Twitter by emulating the format of the typical news outlet's graphic design.

Case in point, this delightful work made the rounds Friday night:

It's got everything you need: some tastefully arranged photos juxtaposed beside a quote that's just uninteresting enough to be believable.

Anyway, hopefully someone let the Clippers' Lou Williams in on the gag, lest his relationship with his former 76ers teammate, Andre Iguodala, suffer.

(Wow, that 76ers team feels like a lifetime ago.)

A brief history of young NBA fans having their wisdom teeth removed

There are a number of hallowed coming-of-age benchmarks in America: learning to ride a bike. Getting your driver's license. Accidentally running up a $1,448.09 App Store bill on your dad's credit card (To be fair, my FarmVille setup was immaculate.)

But there's one tradition that neither culture critics nor anthropologists have explored in rigorous depth: the moment directly after a teenager has had their wisdom teeth forcibly removed, and - still feeling the effects of their painkillers - begins an impassioned rant about their favorite NBA player.

This week, it was a young Utah Jazz fan tearfully alleging a deep friendship with Donovan Mitchell:

But this is far from the first time an anesthesia-addled teenager has bared their soul after a dental procedure.

On Ja Morant:

On Victor Oladipo:

On Russell Westbrook:

(This probably wasn't the best time for a Thunder fan to learn about the trade.)

On John Wall, but also the entire 2019 playoff picture:

On Dwyane Wade:

On Sir Charles:

On Stephen Curry:

You can notice a few patterns emerge within the post-wisdom-teeth-removal genre:

• Subjects with swollen, puffy faces (duh)
• Marble-mouthed pronunciation (hilarious!)
• Gloopy padding in the mouth (bloody drool optional)
• Tearful declarations of love (these kids have range)
• Playful teasing from otherwise supportive parents
• Usually (but not exclusively) filmed on the car ride home
• Duration of roughly 40-75 seconds

So why is someone's first instinct when entrusted with a legally intoxicated child to commence an on-camera interview? Probably the same reason many of the subjects posted their own videos: Because they reveal the duality of man social media clout. That would be my guess.

Of course, Weird Week will be tracking future cases, hoping to gain further insight into a frequent but under-examined phenomenon. Any and all reader submissions are appreciated.

The only mixtape that matters this week

What more do the scouts need to see from referee Barry Brown? He has panache in spades and dexterity with a whistle that is uncommon for a prospect. Your move, Monty McCutchen.

When coaches clap back

Since criticism is usually a one-way street when it comes to the media, it's fair that coaches get an opportunity to have some fun at the expense of the beat reporters.

Here's Pelicans head honcho Alvin Gentry roasting the sartorial flair of The Athletic's Will Guillory:

Jim Boylen also got a few jabs in at NBC Sports Chicago's K.C. Johnson over a particular phrase that evidently irks the Bulls bench boss:

Like a python that has swallowed a beach towel, the NBA season is long and moves slowly. There's plenty of time for team personnel and the media to develop friendly working relationships.

Come back next Sunday for more oddities, inanities, and obscenities from the wonderful world of basketball - and send nominations and submissions to [email protected].