Christmas Day NBA Recap: A Fairytale of Everywhere Except New York

Early on in the day, it looked like a pretty safe bet that the coal would outweigh the presents in our stockings as NBA fans watching the five nationally televised games this Christmas. But as afternoon turned into evening, it turned out we need not worry--the lousy basketball had been contained to the state of New York, and the rest of the day's showdowns elsewhere in the country would turn out to be far more entertaining, suspenseful and ultimately rewarding. So to sum up the day's events: Big Apple basketball bad, other basketball good. Got it? OK, let's dive a little deeper. 

GAME 1: CHICAGO BULLS 95, BROOKLYN NETS 78

Close For: About two-and-a-third quarters

Game Story: For at least a half, it seemed like the two teams were on about the same depressingly injury-decimated level--Brooklyn missing Andrei Kirilenko and (of course) Brook Lopez, Chicago missing Luol Deng and (of course) Derrick Rose--as the Bulls and Nets took turns going scoreless for about two minutes at a time and generally playing a lot of molasses-slow basketball predicated on contested jumpers and missed layups. This exchange went down at halftime:

Sage Steele: "We've got a game in Brooklyn, don't we!" 
Jalen Rose: "An UGLY game!" 
Bill Simmons: "A semi-unwatchable game!"
Sage Steele (defensively): "...It's a game!!"

It was a game for a little while. Eventually, though, the Bulls shook loose for a 16-2 run, jump-started by a series of consecutive fast-break buckets, and the Nets had no counter-punch, spending most of the fourth quarter down by about 20. They lost by a lot and probably should have lost by more. 

The story for the Bulls was mostly about two bench players: Taj Gibson and D.J. Augustin. Taj predictably made short work of the Nets' mediocre back-up bigs, hitting on his jumper and getting some highlight dunks--more on that in a bit--for 20 points on 9-15 shooting. Augustin's success was more surprising, but the recently acquired point guard gives the Bulls a sense of speed and dynamism that they've been lacking pretty badly since Rose went down--and you know it's bad when a guy who just got cut from the Raptors is a cut above--and he somehow managed to play Deron Williams to a near-draw, ending with 13 points on 4-7 shooting, with five assists. 

For the Nets, Brook Lopez's absence was acutely felt with the team's big tandem of Andray Blatche and Kevin Garnett combining for a ghastly 3-18 shooting night. Blatche in particular was just murder, missing chippies and making boneheaded plays left and right. A sympathetic Doris Burke noted that Blatche was traditionally a sort of one-way player, stating "When he's playing like this, his plus/minus is gonna be pretty tough to look at." -16 in 26 minutes is pretty bad, but you feel like it actually could have been a whole lot worse. 

Is it so crazy to think that Brooklyn should be playing Mason Plumlee more? I'm not just saying this because I over-anxiously picked up Plumlee once I lost Lopez for the season on my fantasy team--though I might not have felt insulted by it enough to be making a specific point of it otherwise, I suppose--but c'mon, would it kill Jason Kidd to get something resembling youth or athleticism into his rotation? Plumlee didn't even play until the 4th, then instantly scored off a pick-and-roll slam and got a nice block/takeaway combo at the other end a minute later. He's not gonna step in and be Brook or anything, but he might give them a DJ Augustin-like (kill me and/or the Bulls now) injection of energy. JUST A SUGGESTION. 

Highlights: I mentioned Taj Gibson, right? He had some moments. 

Sorry, Mirza. Rite of passage for Eastern backup power forwards to get the Taj putback-posterization treatment. A compliment, really. 

Other: On a day of some pretty flamboyant fashion, Zebra Jet can't help but stand apart. Jason Terry wasn't the only net to wear the black-and-white striped socks, but I guess nobody else wore them quite so high. It made an impression, certainly. 

Also, kudos to whatever team of ESPN interns had to make up the "Netsopoly" graphic. A very creative (or at least very time-consuming) way to express an extremely obvious point about what a bad job Nets ownership has done at everything. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK: RED BULL, "BLAKE GRIFFIN STAND ALONE"

Kinda dig this new Blake-featuring ad about "falling in love with the process of being great." Classy black-and-white, good training footage, and not too obtrusive with any actual Red Bull advertising until the end. Very solid. Ten points to anyone who can let me know what the awesome synth-funk song in the background is, too. 

GAME 2: THUNDER 123, KNICKS 94

Close For: Half a quarter

Game Story: "We're gonna be talking about [the Knicks] all day, and it's not gonna be good for a 9-18 basketball team," predicted Jalen Rose before the tip of New York-OKC. He was right, of course, except that now it's a 9-19 basketball team. 

The Knicks never had a prayer in this one. They were already at a disadvantage playing without leading scorer Carmelo Anthony, but that probably wouldn't have made much of a difference--even with Melo, the Knicks only have two credible defenders in their rotation, and that might be enough to keep Kevin Durant reasonably in check, if you didn't also have to worry about Russell Westbrook, Serge Ibaka, Reggie Jackson, Jeremy Lamb, and yikes the Thunder have a lot of good offensive players now. The Knicks, meanwhile, had J.R. Smith, and a lot of him. This was never going to end well. 
 

That said, it didn't begin or middle that well, either. The Thunder just ran over New York from the jump, with Durant and Ibaka combining to shoot 15-19 in the first half, and Russell Westbrook out-rebounding the Knicks' entire big-man rotation on his own for the game's first three quarters. KD and Ibaka ended with a combined 53 points, Russ racked up a triple-double without breaking a sleeved-shirted sweat. Even Jackson and Lamb ended up with 31 points between them, and that was mostly accrued in garbage time. The Thunder have some players and a pretty good basketball team, if you hadn't noticed through the season's first two months. 

The Knicks did get some game performances from young wings Iman Shumpert (eight points, seven boards, four assists, generally good defensive effort) and Tim Hardaway Jr. (21 points, five rebounds, generally good decision-making), and Amar'e Stoudemire was able to finally find his way back into an offensive rhythm in garbage time (22 points on 10-16 shooting, though somehow only two rebounds in 26 minutes). But this was a bad basketball team playing a bad basketball game, and with Melo hurting and no point guard depth, it's gonna be tough for the 'Bockers to regain any kind of stride in time for their upcoming three-game Texas trip--which, if it goes as expected, you have to think Coach Mike Woodson might not end up coming back from. 

Highlights: That creeping sound you hear coming from behind you isn't Father Time, Amar'e, it's Thunder dynamo Reggie Jackson. (And also probably Father Time as well.)

And before things got out of control for them--like, this was their last good play before they totally lost control of the game--the Knicks did have this nice THJ shot-clock-beater: 

Other: Russell Westbrook, what a cool guy. 

Beno Udrih, not so much. 

[GIF Courtesy: SBNation]

Also probably worth noting: The Knicks' 29-point loss was the worst home loss in Christmas history. And if that's the worst kind of history they make before the season (or calendar year) is over, they should probably consider themselves lucky. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK: ABC'S "KILLER WOMEN"

From the "Police Cops" school of TV titling comes "Killer Women," ABC's hilariously dreadful looking new drama/suspense series, for which ads ran incessantly through NBA Christmas. If you weren't sold by the title, the super-dialoguey dialogue ("Some men just need killing!") and the use of Lady Gaga's abhorrent "Americano" as the soundtrack, then the "Executive Producer Sofia Vergara" credit probably sealed the deal for you. I mean, when has she ever steered us wrong? 

GAME 3: HEAT 101, LAKERS 95

Close For: All but the final minute

Game Story: I pegged this game to be the worst of the afternoon, but clearly I underestimated the Kobeless Lakers' ability to put together four competent quarters of basketball in the face of considerable adversity, as well as the league's most fearsome Christmas matchup. Playing without Kobe, the Lakers did what a talent-poor team is supposed to do--they played hard, they played smart, they defended with energy and they shot a whole lotta threes. With that formula, and a borderline-dangerous dose of Swaggy P, the Lakers were actually able to keep this a game throughout. 

Kudos for this have to go largely to Jordan Hill in the first half, and Nick Young in the second. Hill was a monster in the first half, not scoring a ton but buying the Lakers countless extra possessions with offensive rebounds and tipouts, and forced turnovers at the other end. (The fact that he still plays about as many minutes a game as Shawne Williams endlessly perplexes.) And Young...well sometimes he hits shots and sometimes he doesn't, but in the second-half today, he hit more than he missed, including a four-point play and a big pull-up three to end the quarter--both against LeBron, natch. You don't always want the looks that playing the Swagness big minutes gives you, but when you're playing a great team and have no other option...well, you could do worse, anyway. 

Still, in the end, the Heat were the Heat. The Big Three combined for 65 points on 27-49 shooting, Ray Allen pitched in four three-pointers, Norris Cole and Mario Chalmers both made about one big play each, and that was all Miami needed to squeak by a much inferior team on the road. The Lakers did a nice job using the three-pointer as an equalizer--hitting 14 of 36 from deep, most on pretty good looks--but at the end, the shots inevitably dried up, and the Heat had the three best players on the court. No shame in this loss at all for the Lakers--really, you just kinda felt bad for them that they couldn't have lucked out with one of the plum New York matchups. They'd have beaten the Knicks and Nets by double-digits, easy. 

Highlights: You've seen the Wade-LeBron oop by now, right? You should see the Wade-LeBron dunk. 

NO THAT'S NOT ACTUALLY EVEN *THE* WADE-LEBRON DUNK THIS IS *THE* WADE-LEBRON DUNK

Amazing. When you slam down an alley-oop from three feet away that's thrown well behind you, and that's not even close to your most impressive slam of an errant oop pass on the night...well, then, you're probably LeBron James, aren't you? 

Other: They weren't all winning moments for Jordan Hill and Nick Young. Here's Hill in the fourth quarter, attempting a little-seen isolation jumper against Ray Allen, with unsexy results:

And here's Young in the first, doing what could probably be best-described as outswagging himself: 

[GIF Courtesy: SBNation]

There was also a possession in the final frame with LeBron James isoing up against Ryan Kelly at the top of the key--much to the bemusement of Jeff Van Gundy--but there are probably decency regulations to be considered when contemplating posting or watching that one again. Needless to say, if it ever happens again, somebody needs to get fired. 
 

COMMERCIAL BREAK: ABC/ESPN'S "LEONA LEWIS - NBA PROMO"

Beyonce and Mariah Carey were probably a little out of their price range, so ESPN/ABC dolled up Leona Lewis like Beyonce and had her sing her Mariah-est song ("I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day") and hoped North America wouldn't squint too closely. You know, Kelly Clarkson had a Mariah rip-off Christmas song this year that was actually kinda good, and she's always imminently available for stuff like this. You get what you pay for, I guess. 

GAME FOUR: ROCKETS 111, SPURS 98

Close For: Some of the second and fourth quarters

Game Story: With James Harden in questionable health and the Rockets losers of two of their last three, I thought the Rockets might be in for a long night in San Antonio. And it still might be if they grab a couple kegs of Shiner and go partying at the moon tower after the game, but it certainly wasn't at the AT&T Center, where they comfortably outplayed the Spurs for most of 48 minutes, and grabbed the 13-point victory for their second big road victory in San Antonio this season. 

Each of Houston's Big Three--can we call them a Big Three?--had a stretch of ownage in this one. Chandler Parsons took the early shift, hitting his first four threes (including one from about 30 feet out) and powering the Rockets to a 40-point first quarter. Dwight Howard took the ball from there, controlling the paint, boarding hard and scoring well on his post-ups, ending with 15 points and 20 rebounds and a +23 on the night. And James Harden, looking a little limited but none the worse for it, closed the game out, going off for 11 straight and 16 total in the fourth, ending with an incredibly efficient 28 points on 11-16 shooting, with six assists and six rebounds. (Amazingly, this while only going 1-4 from the line on the night.)

The Spurs just didn't have enough to answer. They got a vintage Manu Ginobili night (22 points on 8-17 shooting) and a solid all-around Tim Duncan game (11 points, 14 boards, five assists and six blocks), but Tony Parker was off all night (just six points on 3-11 shooting) and nobody on San Antonio was hitting threes (5-20 for the entire team). It was hard to say exactly what was ailing the team throughout, but they were playing from behind pretty much the whole game, and every time they seemed to get close, Parsons or Howard or Lin would make a big play to re-open the lead, and San Antonio would go back to playing catch-up. 

Mostly a fun game, but kind of a weird one, and one that gives you cause to wonder if, as some have suggested based on their record this year against the elite teams, that the Spurs are now just a team that beats up on bad opponents but lacks the extra gear to hang with the likes of the Rockets, Clippers and Thunder. Worth keeping an eye on. 

Highlights: 

Handsomeness from beyond: 

Ankles? Never use 'em. 

Other: 
 

By far the strangest thing in this game was a pre-recorded interview segment with Dwight Howard, where he imitated (with fake voice, natch) Coach Kevin McHale's pep talks to him. No video of this yet, but the quote was something like: 

"All right big horse, get your saddle ready, we're gonna ride you all night big horse, all right? So get ready."

As Jalen Rose would say (faaaarrrrrr too often), don't get fired, Dwight. 

COMMERCIAL BREAK: THE KEVIN HART RECKONING

That's right: Four separate ad campaigns starring Kevin Hart--technically three, since the "I Wish" clip was part of a cross-promotion between the NBA and Ride-Along--infected NBA Christmas today. As bad as Hart's level of overexposure among the NBA crowd normally is, this was a new low, and absolutely beyond the pale--you couldn't go a single break without Hart yapping on your TV screen, and the man is not exactly easily ignored. You NBA dudes know that Hart doesn't actually play for a pro team, right? He doesn't moonlight as the third-string point guard for the Wizards or anything. You're not under any obligation that I know of to keep humoring him like this. 

Eventually, there will be an NBA player who makes the bold step of becoming the first to openly declare his belief that Kevin Hart is, in fact, not that funny. And when he does, I don't think the word "hero" will be an inappropriate or exaggerated description. 
 

GAME FIVE: WARRIORS 105, CLIPPERS 103

Close For: Whole game

Game Story: Woof. This one started out a little slow, but heated up to scalding levels towards the end of the half and into the final two quarters, unquestionably capturing the "Game of the Night" honors everyone wanted to foist upon it from opening tip and certainly marking one of the more memorable games of the NBA season thusfar. At the end of the day, the Warriors came out a basket ahead of the Clippers, though in a game where the Clips' seemed to have Golden State's number pretty well throughout. 

Before discussing the ending, though, the real story of this one came in the early fourth, where a series of escalating incidents--an elbow here, a grabbed jersey there--ended with Blake Griffin getting two technicals and getting bounced, for reasons not entirely satisfactory to most of the NBA-viewing public. The first one was on a flare-up with Draymond Green in which Green threw a 'bow at Griffin's neck, getting ejected himself in the process, and the second one was in a down-low tussle with Andrew Bogut, in which it certainly seemed like Bougt was initiating the tangle to try to goad Griffin into a second technical. It worked, Griffin was tossed, and the Clips had to go small the rest of the game.

It still seemed like they had a pretty good chance to win even without Blake, as Stephen Curry was off on his shooting stroke most of the night, starting the game 2-10, while the Clips maintained a lead for most of the fourth quarter. But down the stretch, Curry heated up a little, and as he and CP3 started trading baskets a little, the Warriors were able to seize control of a two-point lead. Then some weirdness later--a failed Harrison Barnes iso, an uncharacteristic Paul blown layup, and a couple much more characteristic Andre Iguodala missed free throws--Paul got the ball back, still down two, with a chance to tie or go-ahead. A layup attempt was cleanly blocked by Thompson, and he was forced to inbound to Jamal Crawford behind the arc for three. On line but short, Warriors win. And then the teams fought some more, with WARRIORS ASSISTANT COACH Brian Scalabrine stepping in to quash the madness. 

"A little Christmas cheer between the two teams," David Lee referred to it after the game. 

Like most NBA fans after a long day of Christmas basketball, I'm still not really sure what went down in a lot of this game--and the fact that the game ran so late that I started dozing off towards the end probably didn't help much. All I know is that when SI's Lee Jenkins called pre-season that the Warriors and Clippers would became the NBA's next great NBA rivalry--a prediction I sort of scoffed at at the time--he was sure onto something. And that Harrison Barnes needs to get a whole lot stronger at posting up point guards. I mean c'mon, Barnesy. 3-13? 

Highlights: Hey, Toney Douglas first-quarter-ending four-point play. Feels like about a week ago. 

Chris Paul can do things with a basketball. 

Other: FIGHT NIGHT!

Oh, and DeAndre Jordan airballed a free throw. Merry Christmas, everybody.