Russell Wilson gives commencement speech at Wisconsin

Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson wants the University of Wisconsin's 2016 graduating class to know he's just a regular special person like all of them.

Wilson, the spokesman for both miracle water and a football made of bread, has been accused of being a calculated brand bot, but his heartrending musings on life as a millionaire who can throw a football long distances, while dating a beautiful pop singer he refuses to have sex with, attempted to dispel this perception.

On Saturday he showed just how human he is while speaking at his alma mater, or, it's possible he recently had the self deprecation 2.0 upgrade installed into his mainframe.

"Of course, I'm also here to share some things I've learned," Wilson told graduates, according to Sheil Kapadia of ESPN. "Things like, if you're dating a woman that's way out of your league, ask her to marry you. If you can throw a football 80 yards, for some reason, people think that's pretty cool. And if you're playing the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, and you've got 26 seconds left and you're down by four, and it's second and goal on their 1-yard line, try not to throw an interception. That's purely, purely hypothetical though, of course."

Hilarious. And while many graduates will struggle to get out from under crippling student debt perpetuated by a system that values profit over the financial stability of its participants, Wilson can treasure this triumphant moment for years to come with a glass of concussion curing water and a loaf of football shaped bread.