Every NFL team's best and worst jersey number
"Numbers have life; they're not just symbols on paper," said Shakuntala Devi, known as the human computer.
Devi wasn't referring to NFL jersey numbers, but she might as well have been. Jersey number aesthetics are real, and those who care about them - like us - take them very seriously (some might say too seriously).
To the uninitiated, there's no difference between a receiver wearing No. 82 (yuck) or 88 (drools). But the right choice of digits can make a player's career, while a bad one can doom them to be a bust. Hey, we don't make the rules - the football gods do.
So buckle in: Here's every NFL team's current best and worst jersey number.
Arizona Cardinals
Best: Sam Bradford - #9
There are lots of great numbers on Arizona's roster - like Larry Fitzgerald's beautifully unique No. 11 - but the generally mediocre Bradford gets the nod for significantly upgrading his look as he dons No. 9 for the first time this season. It's even better with the black jersey.
Worst: David Johnson - #31
One of the most versatile and entertaining running backs in the league chooses No. 31? Is he trying to be Jim Taylor or some other glorified fullback?
Atlanta Falcons
Best: Deion Jones - #45
Jones is a new breed of linebacker - a fast, fluid athlete with strong coverage skills who likely would have played safety 10-15 years ago. His unconventional number works, highlighting the difference between his role and a thumping, downhill-style 'backer.
Worst: Vic Beasley - #44
Does a difference of one really matter that much? Yes. Yes, it does. Beasley could be an elite defensive end, but not without switching to a beautiful pass-rusher number in the 90s.
Baltimore Ravens
Best: Terrell Suggs - #55
As we've established, pass-rushers look best sporting a number in the 90s; however, T-Sizzle has always marched to the beat of his own drum. He's one of the first true rush linebackers, and his No. 55 helps accentuate that important positional distinction.
Worst: Breshad Perriman - #11
Perriman practically ensured his bust status when he picked such a forgettable receiver number. To add insult to (literal) injury, he didn't even manage to exceed 11 catches last season.
Buffalo Bills
Best: Tre'Davious White - #27
It's not your typical top cornerback number, but White's more than just the Bills' top shutdown defensive back - he's an all-around playmaker who appeared to mark the beginning of a new, more intelligent era in Buffalo when he was drafted in 2017. It's not his fault the Bills traded all those picks for an iffy-at-best quarterback.
Worst: Kelvin Benjamin - #13
Some guys have no self-awareness. If he wants to be considered a No. 1 receiver who flourishes in the red zone, Benjamin has to beef up his number. A No. 88 would be nice.
Carolina Panthers
Best: Cam Newton - #1
No other player - let alone quarterback - can pull off No. 1 and make it look so good.
Worst: Luke Kuechly - #59
Really, man? You're Luke Kuechly! You could demand any number you want and you go with No. 59? You could have been one of the world's great 55s or 52s.
Chicago Bears
Best: Kyle Long - #75
The Longs are one of the NFL's top footballing families. Kyle carrying on the legacy of his Hall of Fame father by wearing Howie's number (despite playing at a different position) makes this an easy choice.
Worst: Pat O'Donnell - #16
The only thing worse to look at than a punter is a punter trying to rock a backup quarterback's number.
Cincinnati Bengals
Best: Andy Dalton - #14
Under most circumstances, this is a terrible choice at his position, but it's only right that the most "meh" quarterback in the league wears the most "meh" number.
Worst: Carl Lawson - #58
On one hand, Lawson still isn't very well known and is harder to notice as a pass-rusher wearing a non-traditional number in that role. On the other hand, Von Miller has become one of the league's most popular pass-rushers while wearing No. 58, setting unreasonably high expectations for anyone else using his digits.
Cleveland Browns
Best: No one
In these uniforms, no number can make any player look good.
Worst: Everyone
The only things uglier than these...
... are these.
Dallas Cowboys
Best: Sean Lee - #50
It's a shame that the linebacker's lost so much time to injuries, because Lee's classic linebacker number of 50 in iconic Cowboys colors is a sight to behold.
Worst: Connor Williams - #52
It's not an awful choice for an interior offensive lineman, but the rookie guard botched his chance to ensure all five members of Dallas' projected starting unit would be wearing numbers in the 70s.
Denver Broncos
Best: Demaryius Thomas - #88
A classic No. 1 receiver number that's best worn by a big, physical player like Thomas, whose size is accentuated by its width.
Worst: Paxton Lynch - #12
If you pick No. 12 as a quarterback, you'd better be damn sure you're going to be good.
Detroit Lions
Best: Golden Tate - #15
A unique look for a unique receiver, it's also a major upgrade over the forgettable No. 81 he wore early in his career with Seattle. It makes Tate look a little more like the running back he was recruited as in college.
Worst: Taylor Decker - #68
Decker doesn't get the credit he deserves as an athletic, 6-foot-7 mauler protecting Matt Stafford's blind side. One explanation: He's wearing a backup's number.
Green Bay Packers
Best: Too many to pick
From Aaron Rodgers' No. 12 to Kevin King's No. 20 to Blake Martinez's No. 50 (never mind David Bakhtiari, Davante Adams, Jaire Alexander, Brett Hundley, and a dozen more), there are simply too many great-looking jerseys in Green Bay to single one out.
Worst: Nick Perry - #53
How did he mess this up? That's not a pass-rusher number. Just pick a pass-rusher number and it'll look great.
Houston Texans
Best: J.J. Watt - #99
There is no scarier sight for NFL quarterbacks than No. 99 bearing down on them. It's a classic choice for dominant defensive linemen, including Hall of Famer Warren Sapp, but it will go down in history as Watt's number - and it brings an added air of greatness as the highest number a player can wear.
Worst: Vyncint Smith #17
You may not know Smith, but you probably do know why no player should try to rock No. 17 in Houston ever again.
Indianapolis Colts
Best: Malik Hooker - #29
True center fielders are rare in the NFL. Hooker, the natural successor to Earl Thomas, looks just as good wearing the Seahawks safety's number.
Worst: Quincy Wilson - #31
At 6-foot-1 and 206 pounds, Wilson could have picked No. 25 and looked like Richard Sherman. Instead, he chose No. 31 and looks more like Antonio Cromartie. Ugh.
Jacksonville Jaguars
Best: Jalen Ramsey - #20
Ramsey is a shutdown corner, but he's also an unreal playmaker and gambler - just like Barry Sanders, the most famous No. 20 in NFL history. Thank goodness Ramsey quickly ditched No. 38.
Worst: Blake Bortles - #5
Though Bortles can't throw, he's strangely dominant - but no one looks fast or cool while running in a No. 5 jersey. A No. 7 or 9 would have been so much better.
Kansas City Chiefs
Best: Travis Kelce - #87
Gronk made it cool. Kelce made it cooler (runs away from angry Patriots fans).
Worst: Patrick Mahomes - #15
Look at Mahomes at Texas Tech: gorgeous. But put a 1 in front of it, and Mahomes' elite size is suddenly obscured. Meanwhile, who's wearing No. 5 on the Chiefs? Matt freakin' McGloin. What a waste.
Los Angeles Chargers
Best: Philip Rivers - #17
This will forever be Rivers' number. He built it. It's his now.
Worst: Keenan Allen - #13
We should have known Allen was going to mess up his jersey number when he wore No. 21 in college. Is he a No. 1 receiver or a slot guy? What's going on?
Los Angeles Rams
Best: Aqib Talib, Marcus Peters, & Nickell Robey-Coleman - #21, #22, #23
Sure, assembling one of the best cornerback groups in the league is nice, but you know what's even better? Getting them to wear consecutive numbers.
Worst: Jared Goff - #16
Other first overall picks have gone on to lengthy careers as game-managers, but choosing a number that sets that expectation is getting off on the wrong foot.
Miami Dolphins
Best: Frank Gore - #21
Gore never looked quite right in No. 23. It's fitting that the legendary running back will likely finish his career in his hometown, sporting the number he wore in college and with the 49ers.
Worst: Stephone Anthony - #44
If you're already playing for a team where linebackers go to die, at least pick a good linebacker number.
Minnesota Vikings
Best: Adam Thielen - #19
This is a great look for a receiver who can line up out wide or in the slot, and he likely didn't have much to choose from when he made the team as an undrafted free agent after a tryout in 2013.
Worst: Stefon Diggs - #14
Thielen took the number in the teens, so Diggs should be in the 80s. That's how good receiver duos work.
New England Patriots
Best: Tom Brady - #12
Jim Kelly, Roger Staubach, and Joe Namath all sported the legendary quarterback number before him, so it's a testament to Brady's greatness that he's become synonymous with No. 12.
Worst: Danny Shelton - #71
Shelton, a defensive tackle, has worn No. 55 and 71 during his brief NFL career. He doesn't deserve the inevitable Super Bowl ring he'll win in New England.
New Orleans Saints
Best: Drew Brees - #9
Like a striker in the beautiful game, Brees just looks proper in his golden No. 9, and has established himself as the premier player to don the digit.
Worst: Alvin Kamara - #41
Everything about watching Kamara's rookie season was fantastic - except the fact he was wearing a backup safety's number.
New York Giants
Best: Odell Beckham Jr. - #13
It takes a special receiver to make No. 13 look effortless and cool, and OBJ is nothing if not special.
Worst: B.J Goodson - #93
A middle linebacker trying to look like a defensive lineman is basically a nerd trying to sit at the cool kids' lunch table.
New York Jets
Best: Jamal Adams - #33
Repeating digits doesn't always work for jersey numbers, but No. 33 is perfect for a hard-hitting safety like Adams.
Worst: Leonard Williams - #92
Though we're normally fans of talented defensive linemen wearing 90s, the Jets have had so many over the last decade that Williams gets a bit lost in the crowd.
Oakland Raiders
Best: Amari Cooper - #89
It's clean, the bigger numbers give the impression of a bigger frame, and the silver and black looks great - full marks.
Worst: Jordy Nelson - #82
Put your No. 87 jersey on, Jordy! Why are you letting Jared Cook walk around in it?
Philadelphia Eagles
Best: Darren Sproles - #43
Sproles is one of the most unique and dangerous players in NFL history, and he's made No. 43 his own. Watching that number, regardless of the jersey, scamper down the sidelines is pure football joy.
Worst: Jay Ajayi - #36
Ajayi looked great in No. 23 in Miami. His No. 36 with the Eagles, on the other hand, not only makes him look slower, it serves as a constant reminder that he was traded midseason and had to take whatever was available.
Pittsburgh Steelers
Best: JuJu Smith-Schuster - #19
After briefly wearing No. 13 in his rookie minicamp, Smith-Schuster opted for something more like the No. 9 he wore at USC, then led first-year players in receiving yards. Good call.
Worst: Le'Veon Bell & Antonio Brown - #26 & #84
Arguably the league's best running back and receiver both play in the same offense, and they both have terrible numbers. While Brown's main mistake is being boring, Bell could have taken any other number in the 20s and looked much better. Dynamic playmakers don't wear a six on their jersey unless they're Hines Ward.
San Francisco 49ers
Best: Jimmy Garoppolo - #10
Garoppolo looks like the NFL's next stud quarterback, so it's a relief he's picked a clean, crisp quarterback number that makes him look every bit a franchise passer. Trolling Brady with No. 12 would've been awesome, though.
Worst: C.J. Beathard - #3
It's hard enough to look good next to Garoppolo without wearing such a goofy number.
Seattle Seahawks
Best: Bobby Wagner - #54
Doesn't he just look right? Fifty-four in those colors fits his build so well.
Worst: Tyler Lockett - #16
Sixteen looked good in purple and white at Kansas State, but with the Seahawks, it sparks more confusion. As Lockett tries to figure out whether he's a returner, slot specialist, deep threat, or gadget player in the pros, his number suggests he's just some backup.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Best: O.J. Howard - #80
Not many players can make the Bucs' god-awful number font look good. However, not only does Howard's No. 80 signal that he's more a receiver than a true tight end, it's one of the few selections that benefits from the blocky design.
Worst: Vita Vea - #50
Continuity between college and NFL numbers is a big plus for us ... unless you're a boring first-round defensive tackle who looks like a center.
Tennessee Titans
Best: Marcus Mariota - #8
It may not look nearly as good as it did during Mariota's Oregon days, but it's a constant reminder of how fun he can be when he isn't being coached by Mike Mularkey.
Worst: Derrick Henry - #22
At 6-foot-3 and 247 pounds, Henry should be the heir apparent to Marshawn "Beast Mode" Lynch. No. 22 doesn't suit a power back. No defender is scared of it. Switch to No. 32.
Washington Redskins
Best: Alex Smith - #11
Just a little extra reminder of who got drafted with the No. 1 pick in Round 1 in 2005. Rodgers didn't dare rock 11 - he hasn't earned it like Smitty.
Worst: Jordan Reed - #86
If Reed wore No. 87 or 88, he might actually get the credit he deserves as Washington's best pass-catching weapon. It worked for Gronkowski, Kelce, Greg Olsen, and the retired Tony Gonzalez, none of whom would have considered donning a six.
(Photos courtesy: Getty Images)