How every suitor should pitch Tom Brady in free agency

It's looking more and more like Tom Brady will test the free-agent market and then play the 2020 season in a new uniform.

Just over one week before the legal tampering period begins, there's been little indication that the six-time Super Bowl champion will return to the New England Patriots.

If Brady does in fact hit the open market, here's how every potential suitor should line up their pitch.

Las Vegas Raiders

Hey Tom, come play for the Raiders and you'll get to star in a state-of-the-art stadium right on the Las Vegas strip. You'd be our crown jewel - your face would be on all the billboards, the stadium signs, and maybe even the Las Vegas sign! You also wouldn't have to play any more AFC Championship Games in the Foxborough snow.

You need a good O-line, and we've got one of the best in the league. Trent Brown didn't allow a single postseason sack while protecting you all the way to a Super Bowl in 2018. Around him we have Gabe Jackson, Rodney Hudson, and Richie Incognito. Those guys will help ensure no one lays a finger on you.

You need weapons, and we've got the cap space to add you and some receiving help. Plus, when it comes to your contract, we've got a blank check here waiting with your name on it.

The Raiders are ready to contend and Jon Gruden can't wait to get you in his offensive system.

Sign with us, and we'll never complain about the "Tuck Rule" again.

Tennessee Titans

We're sorry about ending your 2019 season prematurely, but it's time to accept that your best shot at returning to the top of the mountain is in Nashville.

The Titans are on the rise. We have a top offensive line to keep you upright, a beast of a running back who can handle 30 carries a game in Derrick Henry, and an old friend of yours in head coach Mike Vrabel. You won't have to start from scratch here.

We also have dynamic young outside receiving threats in A.J. Brown and Corey Davis, an emerging star in tight end Jonnu Smith, and a trusty slot receiver the Patriots tried to sign a year ago in Adam Humphries. Meanwhile, New England has a broken-down Julian Edelman and no one else to throw to.

We were one win away from the Super Bowl in 2019, and you'd be the final piece of our puzzle. In New England, you're one of the only pieces left from a decaying former dynasty.

Los Angeles Chargers

Hey, Tom. It's the Chargers - the team you've owned throughout your career. We're still bitter about 2006.

Anyway, we've heard you want to break into the world of acting after football, and there's no better place to start networking than right here in Los Angeles.

We know you're probably thinking, "But Chargers, I care about winning on the field. Isn't your franchise notoriously cheap and not committed to doing that?" The answer is yes but also no. We were cheap in the past, but we're prepared to do whatever it takes to field a winning team as we move into SoFi Stadium - if for no other reason than because we need to sell tickets. We already have pretty good skill players, so we're not that far away.

Your next thought must be, "But Chargers, I'm turning 43 in August and don't want to play in front of the same offensive line that nearly got Philip Rivers killed last year." Well, that's why we traded for Trai Turner, a five-time Pro Bowler at right guard. We can make additional upgrades, and we may even use the sixth overall draft pick on a lineman.

Don't forget - we made the playoffs two years ago and appeared destined for the Super Bowl until we ran into your Patriots. With your help, we can get back there and then win our first Lombardi Trophy. By the way, we're hosting the Patriots in 2020, meaning you could join Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, and Drew Brees as the only quarterbacks in NFL history to beat every team. We know you love making history.

San Francisco 49ers

You grew up rooting for us, and now we're rooting for you to join us.

Your hometown of San Mateo is just 25 miles from our Santa Clara stadium, so you could truly work from home.

Aside from the logistics (we're confident we can find a way to trade Jimmy Garoppolo), we've got everything you could want in a franchise: an offensive genius at head coach, an active general manager, and one of the best running games and defenses in the league. Not to mention, George Kittle is the best tight end since Rob Gronkowski.

This past season, we were a clutch quarterback drive away from winning the Super Bowl. We know just the guy to pull that off.

Your childhood idol, Joe Montana, changed teams late in his career and it didn't ruin his legacy. It's really not that crazy of an idea.

And in case you haven't seen our schedule, we play at New England in 2020.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Not since Randy Moss and Wes Welker have you teamed up with a collection of star wideouts like the ones we have in Tampa.

No longer would you have to tear a strip off guys like Jakobi Meyers, N'Keal Harry, and Gunner Olszewski in frustration. We've got a pair of 1,000-yard wide receivers in Mike Evans and Chris Godwin, and a tight end the Patriots tried to trade for in O.J. Howard. No other free-agent destination boasts the offensive weapons we do.

And speaking of destinations, just wait until you see what it's like to live in Florida year-round. Playing in Tampa will be like getting a head start on retirement.

Plus, whatever contract you agree to, keep in mind there's no state income tax. That money's all yours.

Now, sure, we haven't been to the playoffs in 12 years, and we're playing in one of the league's toughest divisions, but all that changes with you.

New England Patriots

Tom, let's be real here - why would anyone move on from the most stable and accomplished franchise in pro sports?

You've achieved so much in New England: six Super Bowl championships, four Super Bowl MVPs, three regular-season MVPs, three first-team All-Pro selections, and 11 straight division titles (16 of the last 17, too). Change is difficult, and there's no need to exit such a comfortable situation.

We know what you're thinking: "I need more weapons, I miss Gronk," etc. But there's plenty of cap space available to pay both you and a top-tier pass-catcher or two. We're already targeting a handful of options who would work well in our offense.

We advise you to truly analyze your other free-agent suitors. Do you really want to play for Anthony Lynn and Shane Steichen? Mike Vrabel and Arthur Smith? An overpowering Jon Gruden? Those names don't exactly compare to Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels.

Other legendary quarterbacks joined new teams toward the end of their careers, so we get it. But what did Joe Montana accomplish with the Chiefs? How about Brett Favre with the Vikings? Those teams didn't field the type of defense that Peyton Manning benefited from in Denver.

Don't tarnish your legacy, Tom. You're a Patriot for life.