Darius Slay gives himself terrible nickname; backs away from terrible nickname

Detroit Lions cornerback Darius Slay is really pushing the boundaries of acceptable self-nickname etiquette.

To wit: he now wants to be called "The Earth."

What the hell, man?

"I can cover anybody on this planet," Slay said, according to Dave Birkett of the Detroit Free Press. "I am The Earth. Call me The Earth."

"I'm The Earth," Slay said - again - repeating what he undoubtedly told himself in the mirror that morning. "But Big Play Earth."

"Big Play Earth?" What the hell man?

Likely sensing the discomfort, Slay, with the desperation of anyone who's given themselves a nickname that didn't catch on, backtracked on Wednesday.

"No, my name's 'Big Play Slay,'" Slay said. "That's my nickname. That's all day, every day. I'm just, 'Hey, I'm Big Play.' That's all I do, I try to make big plays."

Good lord. This guy needs a nickname intervention. Here are some suggestions: Hot Sauce. The Gandy Dancer. The Puppeteer. All slightly better nicknames than anything Slay has come up with.