⚽ Hiatus Diaries: Mourinho's moronic move, Walker in hot water

With a pandemic suspending sporting events worldwide, athletes suddenly have tons of time on their hands. In the latest installment of our weekly soccer series, we look at how players are keeping themselves entertained - and in shape - while self-isolating.

Dummies from a distance drawn to Dynamo

The sport hasn't completely been on hiatus, with the Belarusian top tier flying the flag for the perilously brazen in the face of a worryingly rapid rise in confirmed coronavirus cases.

Most spectators have stayed away, which prompted league holders Dynamo Brest to place 30 mannequin fans in the stands for Wednesday's Belarusian Cup semifinal against Shakhtyor Soligorsk. The club is peddling digital tickets at 67 Belarusian rubles (£21) - five times the cost of a normal seat - to fans from six countries, including the United States and Canada, willing to have their Xeroxed mugs atop a myriad of kits.

It's worth noting that Belarusian President Alexander Lukashenko continues to shun a national lockdown, instead claiming that it's "better to die standing on your feet than to live on your knees" while proscribing vodka and saunas to prevent the spread of the virus.

Naturally, for new followers of Belarusian soccer, trust theScore to come through in the clutch with your weekly Belarusian Premier League betting preview.

Moronic Mourinho and Tanguy Dumb-ele

Speaking of dummies, Tottenham boss Jose Mourinho and club-record pet project Tanguy Ndombele met up - in club gear, no less - at Hadley Common in north London for an impromptu training sesh despite social-distancing orders.

Fellow first-teamers Davinson Sanchez and Ryan Sessegnon were also spotted running nearby and are understood to have encountered Mourinho and Ndombele despite strict government orders prohibiting such activities.

Mourinho has since apologized, as the mercurial manager's last remaining backers report that the Spurs boss wanted to rekindle his relationship with Ndombele, who he repeatedly dragged during the season.

London mayor Sadiq Khan denounced Mourinho's actions, saying, "My concern is, people, particularly children, who might support Spurs or follow football may see these images, pick up a paper, watch the internet, and think: 'Well if it's OK for them, why isn't it OK for me?'" Remember kids, it's never OK to use the internet, or support Spurs.

Walker's menage a trouble

Manchester City and England defender Kyle Walker could be set for a significant slap on the wrist for hosting a party with - wait for it - a pair of escorts at his home in Cheshire, northwest England, amid a U.K. lockdown.

"My actions are in direct contrast to what I should have been doing regarding the lockdown," Walker said in a statement after defying a national order against gatherings of more than two people. Not much of a mathematician, is he?

Lull lulz for lonesome Luiz

Arsenal central defender David Luiz bears more than a resemblance to "Sideshow Bob" of "The Simpsons" with this reflective ruse for his nearly 20 million Instagram followers.

Ronaldo runs up a hill

Cristiano Ronaldo and his missus, Georgina Rodriguez, took turns channeling their inner Kate Bush by running up the driveway at the Juventus star's luxury villa overlooking the Atlantic Ocean in Madeira, Portugal.

Nothing much to see here, though we do have a few questions: Who does his interlocking brickwork, and why does Georgina run like Jordan Henderson?

Malcom gets drone delivery

Barcelona reject Malcom won Zenit's Player of the Month, which was delivered by drone to his condo to the concern of his cat. He probably should have sanitized the award first, though at least most of St. Petersburg now knows where the Brazilian lives.

Smolov splits to see his teenage bride

Celta Vigo's Fedor Smolov reportedly broke Spain's lockdown to fly home to Russia to celebrate his fiancee's 18th birthday. After two years of dating, the 30-year-old Lokomotiv Moscow loanee is engaged to Maria Yumasheva, the granddaughter of former Russian president Boris Yeltsin.

Smolov becomes the second Celta Vigo player to flee the Iberian peninsula, joining Pione Sisto, and the second formerly Russian-based footballer partaking in a problematic relationship, joining Hulk. Awesome dude, great with kids.