Harry Potter turns 20: Football icons who best exemplify the 4 houses
J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series celebrates its 20th birthday today, and in the spirit of the wizarding world she crafted, we set out to answer the pressing question on everyone's mind: Which footballing icons best embody the respective qualities of the four Hogwarts houses?
So, get your Sorting Hat on, and let's get to it:
Gryffindor
"You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart. Their daring nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart"
Captain: Potter can boast a friend at Gryffindor in Harry Kane, as the Tottenham star is the quintessential protagonist in England. His squeaky-clean image and relatively simple lifestyle doesn't make Kane the most exciting footballer, but he's good at scoring and proves the hero time and time again.
Manager: Like a lion, Jurgen Klopp is bravado, confidence, and passion wrapped up in a handsome package, and while you'll likely be hard-pressed to outshout the man, he's sure to end the day with a handshake and a smile. Klopp is, at his core, an entertainer, but never at the expense of his peers.
Legend: Gary Lineker isn't the first man who comes to mind in terms of acts of bravery, but it takes a tremendous amount of courage to face the public after enduring embarrassment, and Lineker's post-playing career has come smack-dab in the public eye. Better yet, he won a FIFA Fair Play award for never receiving a yellow or red card in his 15-year career.
Hufflepuff
"You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal. Those patient Hufflepuffs are true and unafraid of toil.
Captain: A Hufflepuff is loyal, and that's a quality embodied by Andres Iniesta, who's lived and breathed Barcelona since joining the club as a child in 1996. More than that, Iniesta is not the main star, nor does he chase the spotlight. Instead, he shows up when needed, as he did in the 2010 World Cup final.
Manager: Arsene Wenger has called Arsenal home for the better part of the last two decades, and try as he might, the French tactician has never managed to impose himself as intimidating. He is, instead, a kind, fair man who goes about his work patiently, waiting for his return to glory.
Legend: If loyalty is the call of the day, there are none more true than Francesco Totti. The long-standing Roma captain made over 780 appearances for the capital outfit, and turned down the advances of many others. Unfortunately, like many Hufflepuffs, Totti was also the butt of quite a few jokes.
Ravenclaw
"Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you've a ready mind, where those of wit and learning, will always find their kind."
Captain: Andrea Pirlo sees the game differently. Where his teammates run and shoot and tackle, Pirlo watches - like a hawk visualizing from above - before delivering a piercing pass that leaves us all stunned. Pirlo is the ultimate thinker on the field.
Manager: Pep Guardiola's methods are often described as school-like; he's a coach who tries his best to prepare his players thoroughly, demanding not just adherence, but total understanding of his various tactical machinations. No man better exemplifies the study of soccer than Guardiola.
Legend: Ravenclaws are a studious bunch who value intellect. With an IQ of 150, Frank Lampard ranks among the top 0.1 percent of the world's population, and his ability to read a play made him one of the planet's best midfielders.
Slytherin
"Or perhaps in Slytherin, you'll make your real friends, Those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends."
Captain: Luis Suarez doesn't care if he has to bite, claw, and cheat his way to victory. The Uruguay man has displayed each - in spades - to controversial effect. If you want to see the qualities of a Slytherin in action, look no further than Suarez's handball to clear a surefire Ghana goal in the 2010 World Cup.
Manager: Jose Mourinho has been described by his detractors as a defensive manager who will park the bus and play anti-football to win a title-deciding match. That sort of attitude may not make friends of the world, but to those he leads it's a method that leads to results. Who cares how, if you win trophies?
Legend: Speaking of handball heroes, does anyone better embody the villainy of Slytherin than Diego Maradona, who famously scored with his hand, failed drugs tests, had criminal ties, and still became the world's best player? The "Hand of God" was but a means to an end, as Maradona's infamy lives on.
(Photos courtesy: Action Images)